LAUGHTER NO BE PROBLEM

I was going for a wedding with my best dress and empty stomach hoping to eat alot there, lolz,A man driving Range River sport splashed pothole water on me without any regards to say "am sorry", I got angry,decided i most get rich.

I walked into a popular juju man known as baba z. I said baba z i am tired of poverty,make me rich, he said "its okay,you are in the rightful place, all you need to bring is one cow,two he-goats ,five cork,50tubbers of yams,15kolanuts and a bag of native rice".

I was confused, i said baba z is like you didn't understand me,I didn't say i want to make you rich rather you should make me rich,if i have all these things will i be here. Baba Z kept quiet for a moment ,looked up and told me " i give you 30seconds to get out else i will transfer my poverty and that of my ancestors to you & your generation. Hehehehehe. 

I ran out of there and my senses was restored, my spirit told me to go straight for confessions. So i did, on my way, i saw some pupils returning from the school singing ah get e big cassava,baby kpana, I shouted shout up kids,what happen to A for Apple,B for Ball,C for cat..... They uniformly replied Uncle you no get levels. I stood quiet and motionless because when a fowl start chasing you in the morning run because it may have grown teeth overnight. 

I got to the church, they were queue of Christians waited, i overtook them, the catechist said young man obey the first come first serve. I replied Catechist mine is emergency, one of the man in the queue said please allow him to go. I told him thank you Sir for the express d core,your sins are forgiven already. I got to the tight corner and knelt down. Father said young man you caused controversy over there. I said Father i will start my confesion with that. I pray The good lord forgives you,The father replied.  I spoke further , Father this your place tight o,Can you hear me clearly? Young man speak on,I can hear.

I began speaking "bless me Father for i have sin,its been 20years since my last confession....." , The Rev Father said that is such a long time..., I replied my papa own is much longer. After confessing what is not your business but me and God the Rev Father said go home and recite the rosary, three our father and one hail Mary and may God forgive you. I said Amen Father but is that all? So if i sin next time, I should just recite this prayer, oh thank you father and goodbye Father. I walked three steps away and went back excuse me Father no body of pot here,i mean food,am hungry. The father said i should come work as a security man in the Catholic Radio station if am really hungry backing it up with Jesus way of teaching the crowd how to catch fishes rather than giving them fishes. I accepted and began work and was offered accomodation within the radio broadcasting compound. It was an awesome experience as i learnt the slogan that pen is mightier than sword. Each time the Rev Father is p will remind the pen is mightier than sword. I will say Yes Sir sorry Yes Rev Father. 

On a very faithful rainy night my resources sharing was interrupted by the sound of hoodlums. The Rev Father sneaked into the my room panicking, Words No Be Problem please do you have any weapon here? I said father thou shall not kill, he replied its for self defense. I quickly went and brought 20 pens. The man was perplexed and went back quietly.

The following morning,The Rev Father was in his office,he shouted Zedicus Piro!! Words No Be Problem!!. I majestically walked into the office,the manager said can you go and bring that your sword again. I went ,got back with a very sharp glittering sword carrying a rugged countenance and was walked towards the Rev Father. He understood all wasn't well, i have seen the sword, please can you can go. i stood still holding the sword firmly and asked who is that sacked letter on the table main for? The manager replied,Its for my girlfriend sorry catechists,oh you thought its yours,how can i sack you naaa. Is your girlfriend or Catechist name Zedicus Piro? He replied No,Yes, its her petname. Hahahahahha, Now tell me Sword & Pen which is more mightier, Hahahaha. 

I was Honorable sacked,No I sacked my self and things became so difficult for me. I was financially broke even Rats were disappointed with me and my house. I went to the bank to close my account of two thousand naira. I inserted my ATM ,the Machine read we have missed you dearest customer but your account is insufficient. I entered the bank immidiately and my mood changed as i sat opposite the counter. I began crying seriously,the security guide approached me,what's wrong Sir,i kept quiet and continued shading tears. He went and call the bank manager,all attention was now on me.

The manager asked, young man what's going on with you, if you can't speak am afraid we may have to send you out. I said s...i....r am just just am empathic customer,i pity you people with all my heart,words can't express how i feel when i see even one thousand naira yet you people count millions,go home empty pockets smelling and dreaming money. The security man burst into tears too, its true my brother. Two days later i went to the bank i saw a notice "E NO EASY BUT ENDURANCE IS RICHES". 

My presence in the bank was already known, the messenger hurried and brought five handkerchiefs for me. I collected and went straight to the Manager's office. Good morning Sir,am here to get loan. The manager replied that is good Zedicus Piro my empathic customer, we are here to serve you better. How much are we looking at here ? I said ten Million Naira, he replied no problem but we we will need collateral be it a house,Car, Land and any other significant others. I was in years again, he said what is it again young man? I said (stammering) Mr Ma----neger ,I...I...I..I.. don't have Car,Land Or a House but i...I... have over three thousand Facebook friends and Five Thousand Instagram followers, please accept them as my Significant Collateral. The manager asked me to leave so i left after all i got five handkerchiefs to sale.

My effort to get money for my needs and most importantly my accomoadation was still in vein. I got to the house i began thinking deeply How wonderful it will be if houses becomes lite and moveable,i would just moved mine accommodated by rats and cockroach in the village to this city. Some will stylishly move any beautiful house that he sees to his /her destination. Government will then enact law that everyone most move his or her house only and squatting won't be allowed because of increased room mates problems.

I thought further All these ijoya girls forming forming Slay Queens with mud houses in the village will start looking for who to carry the house for them,all the guys will lockup. The girls will sneak with the house at night time to where they school,The guy that the girl has been forming will just appear with camera, walk close to her and say hi baby,you look so sexy,lemme snap you kpra kpra kpra. The girl will just drop the house oya boo come,I now accept you as my boyfriend, take my phone number too.

The guy will saved the number easily and smoothly. Alright sexy ,I will call you later. The girl go say sweetheart and pause,Eric will shout talk Na,what's it? Sweet Eric i just want to ask if i....i..........i...... ..................(stammering*) can come stay with you . the guy will reply i don't want to be jailed,shey you heard what the government enacted. The girl go reply i know naaaa,i will be coming only in the night,that's what my fellow slay queens are doing. The boo go just laugh ehhhennnn ,what about that your boyfriend with car & big phones na,the girl will sigh mtcheeewww , mtcheeewwww,that one......,his own fake slaying life pass my own,he is already in prison. 

Hahahahahahhahahaahahhaahahahhaha

MY NAME IS ZEDICUS PIRO AND YOU KNOW SAY WORDS NO BE PROBLEM