FUNNY QUOTES

1: "Poverty is bad,i broke till my bank text me we have missed you dearest customer".

2: "I went for a cocktail party,I saw a very beautiful woman, trust me when i say beauty,I couldn't stop starring at her. She noticed it,walked closer to me,whispered in my ear " don't even think of it,this thing down here is 70years old", I smiled and replied i was actually imagining your daughter through you."

3: "It was Governor Ben Ayade first day in office,early in the morning his wife walked into the room,darling you are still sleeping,Arented you going to work tomorrow, Ayade furiously responded ,this is how you will be disgracing me,the correct thing is Arentod you going to work tomorrow ".

4: "If Doctors treat the way the right, nobody will get well."

5: "If I tell you say i love you,my body only be your own,if you touch my little money,na 30doctors go revive you".

6: "My twin brother got over 20pairs of football jersey but has never won a match,i got just one pair and each time i play everyone laughs till they forget about the match scores."

7: "I visited my uncle in the morning,until i left in the evening, his wife was still cooking,is it now possible to cook stones or was she cooking Nigeria Economy,oh Recession bad o,everyone is now wise"

8: "Nothing confuses a girl like being in a relationship with a broke guy who doesn't lack sweet words".

9: "Gone the days Nigerians wake early jogging to look slim,Nigeria Economy has taken care of that."

10: "On my last birthday while everyone was seated even with the Recession ,I walked in with a bag of popcorn,shared to all and told thank them for coming. That's was all. For more tips on how to celebrate your birthday, contact me."

11: "Going to club,girls look naked
In music videos girls are naked
In magazines ,girls are naked
In porn videos,girls are naked
When its time to bath,they so lock the door,sister what are you hiding ,sponge or soup."

12: "My first day in university, i was greeting everyone like am in my family compound ".

13: "I drove my mum to the market,when we got back to the vehicle there was a noticed," if you fuck the way you park,no woman will come near you."

14: "Welcome to Nigeria where your first day in office colleagues will ask who connected you and not what you know".

15: "Are you participating in a race competition? Brethren once you see Ugandans, Ethiopians or Kenyans there,just save your little energy and go back home,if anyone ask what happened? Say they are there,they came again."

16:" In class the lecturer said Zedicus Piro without looking at your book,tell me what i thought two weeks ago,I smile and replied even God need the rainbow to remember his covenant with us."

17: "Nigeria Police are are always in a hurry,breaking traffic and blowing sirens yet they haven't arrived on a crime scene on time,where the hell do they hurry to".

18: "Appreciate bank staffs,its not easy counting thousands daily and go home empty pockets smelling and dreaming money."

19: "To girls who are still waiting for their unique kind of man to marry,its easy, locate the garden of eden,get clay and loam make him yourself."

20: "God didn't make breasts for Men,its for hungry children. Men stop struggling what's not main for you. Thanks. "

21: "Welcome to Nigeria where tree are more protected&look fresher than human beings. If you think its a lie take a look at one and try to cut it."

22: "So we have gone from pre birthday pics to pre-weddings pics and now It is Pre baby deliverance pics,wonderful !!! We are moving,very soon we will start seeing pre-death pictures".

23: "How will poverty end when we want to live like Dangote yet our level is as short as Ethiopians toes."

24: "In social media,You don't need to tag 100 people to get 100attentions,you just need to hustle for the right words and a nice picture. God bless you with both."

25: "Elected leaders in Nigeria got very intelligent and capable people around them that can help push the state forward ,its just that,You don't talk while eating,its a bad table manner".

26: " You may never know how corny Power Holding Company of Nigeia (PHCN) is until it start raining. The light will go off, then after the rain,they flash it thrice making it appear and accepting like its faulty then that's all for maybe a week. This PHCN ehhh".

27: "I vowed not to use women things again I don't know how my barber convinced me to enter the dryer. My head is still hot till now,daaa women una the try."

28: "How will prostitution end when poverty,evil spirits & Emergency erections still exist and is on the increase".

29: " Nigerian girls like picture eh,they even call it chelfy instead of selfy ,zed let's take chelfy na ,if you know where i am come and fight me".

30:  "Appreciate the strength in girls, its not easy romancing a 70years old man with sacked testes".

31: The day a white garment church member step on you,you will buy more shoes for people that wear shoes to church.

32: Money gives confidence and bold steps but Poverty makes a man stagger .

33: This morning........................................ i was slapped by a neighbor,i ran angrily into my room,others were telling him to run,run ooooo ,zed want to go and carry a weapon,run! run!!, i entered my house,open my pot of food,ditch food and ate. Even without looking at the mirror,no string of my hair removed. 

LESSON: Two wrongs don't make a right but the right step can silence the wrong ones. 

MY NAME IS ZEDICUS PIRO AND YOU KNOW SAY WORDS NO BE PROBLEM