LIVING WITH UNENDING MARITAL SUFFERINGS OR DIVORCE?

The notion of marriage was probably coined from Manage but however  Marriage as known and recite by even a nursery school child its an approved union between a man and woman but a more look into it shows marriage is union between two diverse people a man & woman created by God with different characters, mindset, mental ability and other significant human variations who are supposed to become one in bad times and in good times till death do them part which is seen as marriage insurance policy.

Many years ago, marriage was a social institution with so much prestige because it was a true reflection of love and respect in the society. It was the desire of every man and woman to marry true love and treat each others like king and queen in bad and good times but to how marriage soon evolved to unlimited sad stories we  see and hear daily still surprises man both living death.

Of recent the strong desire to get married especially in women can power my phone battery if converted. This desire to get married has overshadow the understanding in many of what marriage is and the need it should be a union between two desires and not the available versus the desirable or available versus available. The rush in marriage arises because of comparison, poverty, just to have children, just to bare the name Mrs and upload pictures on social media, To make friends feel inferior, Age is not by side, pressure from parents,Its a taboo to marry late and among other personal reasons.

Thus has contributed to Misunderstanding ,Cheating, fighting, killings, cries ,sadness and other untold suffering and weeping in marital homes. The arising question is should such couples continue to be there with the level of suffering or they should divorce?

What's seen as suffering depends and varies among individuals, that is what i may take to be normal someone else will take it to be a suffering. The notion of suffering in marriage also varies among marriages. What Couples A will experience and smile Couples B will experience and so die but let's understand and accept suffering here to be suffering across every marriage. Marital Suffering is severe pain or distress experienced by husband and wife as a result of misunderstandings. The question of stay in tears or divorce don't deserve a quick answer but a thoughtful one. While some will say divorce others will say stay till death separate you.

The fact to divorce or stay depends on the type of recognized marital instruments. Marital instrument is the way of contrasting the union between man and woman. They are three basic ways which include Religious, Court and Traditional marital instruments. All these three can stand and its recognize on it in the society.

In Religious basis of marriage the notion of stay or divorce varies among religions. For Christians it is for better, for worse,in good times and in bad times. Couples are prohibited to divorce and no one ,not even the Priest or Pope has the right to end any marriage nor put asunder. In some other religion like Islam that a man is allowed to marry many wives and expected to treat them equally divorce may not be welcome too. They are many other religion in the world and it calls for fidelity rather than divorce except the abused practices associated with it these days. However such abuse practices arises because of human sympathetic judgment cause by human wickedness. Religious marriage is seen by some as a prison because of it zero tolerance for divorce despite how the cry may be. The implication of this is that many are dying of sadness and can kill his spouse just to be free. It is possible,at the point of deep sadness especially if emotional man is dangerous and deadly. Another implication is that it often result to cheating which is non approved in marriage, It can further result no respect for the religious laws guiding marriage hence divorce set in against all wills like the cases we know around us.

Marriage established by the Court allows divorce and share of properties among the two parties. Hence marriage here is seen as for better i stay,for worse i cat walk away with properties better than i came. Most Couples now prefer court marriage though its a recognized marital instrument but its often seen by the society as a entity of couple with no trust which such couples will defend as it is because they trust each other that take agreement of union in court. The overview of court marriage is that its welcomes divorce so couples facing unending sufferings can hit the divorce door. The implications of this is that it allows people to fake wedding then run out just to accumulate wealth hence the  view that marriage is an occupation is sustain. It also places no forgiving value on the part of each other. Another implications is that it reduces sufferings in marriage i:e it set couples free.

In Traditional marriage the allowance of divorce or not varies from culture to culture. In some culture in Nigeria like bette tradition there's return of bride price once the couple feels they can't continue with the marriage. Some prohibit the practice of divorce saying a woman don't return to his father house. The most issue associated with Traditional marriage is the way its practice now,it precede Religious marriage and there is often question of if we divorce you traditionally will the church also divorce you ? Hence some traditions take a stand with the church to say no to divorce while some will maintain that their Tradition is an solid entity and can stand on it own with whatever decision. The overview of divorce here is that it must be culturally approved or disapproved, that's the notion of ending marital suffering depends on the culture of the couples.

It is worthy to now note that the existence of marriage lies in it way of establishing and two hearts. The way of establishing it shouldn't just be remember at the initial stage or when there is problem but all through the days of each couple life. Remembering it means keeping to the laws of each marital instrument. Such laws are main for the safety of such marriage. However it is worthy to note  that some human are born outlaw and very disobedient thus contribute to marital sufferings but does that mean you should divorce ? The answer is yours and should consider the premises discuss above bearing in mind that divorce is not the end of marital suffering nor is it the end of suffering,you may still face humiliation in the society.

A man married for fifty years and bless with children once told me after my inquisitive quest to know what is his secret to such lasting marriage that its an open secret that is blind to many. The spoke "My son,I have been married for fifty years ,have children and grandchildren, its been fifty years of attaining other marriages and seeing them breakup though the secret to marriage is always before them. Come closer my son, everyone has bad moment and it comes interchangeable,the open secret of dealing with it and my marital success is Love, Understanding and acting wisely foolish." I said Sir what if this fails, he smile and said double the effort,keep doubling it.

The solution to marital suffering is not always divorce but Love, Understanding , forgiveness and Acting Wisely Foolish too can restore and avoid further suffering. The right step should be taken to marry who you truly love but misunderstanding knows no true lovers,it comes to all but the less love existing the more pron to misunderstandings. If you fail to understand this and rush into marriage with the hope that love will grow, brethren you will run out of that marriage like Usen Bolt.  there is a tendency that love depreciate in marriage as years goes by but what keep couples together is the fact that they have become use to each other and that can be counted as love. Choose a right couple and manage sorry marriage else hate will appreciate while love depreciate but if the deed of marrying has been done and is now a big wrong deed if it pleases you divorce, its not the greatest sin even if it is God is a forgiving being. Make yourself free,this is not a command but an opinion.

MY NAME IS ZEDICUS PIRO AND YOU KNOW SAY WORDS NO BE PROBLEM