LITIAM

Litiam is an expression of heart in Bette language of Obudu local Government Area in Cross River State. It is use as a pet name for love ones. I fell in love with an angel created specially with God own ribs and i call her Litiam. Having her as girlfriend was not easy but persistence open lock doors and it takes being together to hate or love each other. Ours is the case of love,praise thou lord .

My praise thou lord soon become help thou lord on a very faithful morning i don't want to remember the date. Litiam called if am at home, I said not yet but will be if you want to see me,she said yes,"I want to see you." I hurriedly left where i was ,my guys were asking Words No Be Problem where are you going? I paid deaf ears going happily with the hope to go share resources even stop in the pharmacy to buy Condom behold my dad was there. The pharmacist said Condom Customer (CC)how far what do you need today. I frown my face as if he was not talking to me. I greeted my dad "good evening daddy", he looked at me Condom Customer how are you? I tip toed out of the pharmacy.

I soon got to the next pharmacy behold again my Pastor was there but fortunately for me he was about leaving ,i said pastor bye bye, he replied You haven't greeted me but you're telling me bye bye, i said pastor "the go Na, its the new style of greetings,yes it was updated one hours ago." The pastor shook his head and left. I quickly ordered Condom lowering my voice like a Slay Queen with high heels begging for Transport Fair in a public setting. Just as i stretched my hands to get it from the Sale girl Pastor got back that he forgot his lenses. My hands couldn't move forward nor backward. The pastor said "Holy Moses brother Zedicus Piro what do you want to use a Condom for,its a sin, jumping up in the Nigerian Pastor Way he said i command the Sexual spirit out of you".Behold a Condom fell out from his suit pocket as he jumps about. I said "pastor am so sorry, i just took a new turn and the holy spirit just ministered to me that you should bend very coded and pick your Condom from the ground else you become Pastor Condom." The pastor said brother this is for the spiritual sacristry and not bed mistry but let's all go and sin no more.

I left the pharmacy headed home and realized Litiam was already there. I called her "Litiamlicious Litiam, My words fountain, my natural yoghurt, my Mrs words no be problem, my fresh palm wine that shacks me up & off." She smiled and said "hi anus". With surprise Litiam is it Anus you're calling me today,well any name that comes from you,i will accept it. We entered the house ate and drank water,that's all, bad mind what were expecting.

I said Litiam "do you know my plan is to marry you, every morning when i wake up i hear the Priest saying in advance Zed wed Litiam sorry Litiam wed Zed." She said "okay tse tse fly ,I have heard and believe you." I said Litiam you inventing words for me today o, if that what pleases you no problems.

She then said "the reason i came to see you is because i need some things like toiletries and cosmetics." I said okay,its my loving duty to provide,write it for me,you know women things have strange names." She said i have written already and brought a list of things, i excitedly collected it and was about saying let's go to the market when i saw total of one hundred and fifty thousand. I said Litiam its this one thousand five hundred or one hundred and fifty naira?". "Its one hundred and fifty thousand naira na, baby can't you see again?". "Litiam my sight depends on what am reading, please is the toiletries and cosmetics for all the girls in your village and Have you forgotten Nigeria is Recession." She said "its lie, Nigeria is out of Recession." I said yes i know but am still mourning. She got angry "You're too broke,you shouldn't be talking about love to someone, what are your working plans. I said let there be peace, she said no ,a lover than can't provide doesn't deserve peace. You have nothing other than words. I said Litiam words will become money soon. She screamed i don't have fantastic pleasurable please patience, its over between us.

When i heard its over i didn't know how i started singing "Under the Canopy(py), Under the Canopy of Love(lovi lovi), i didn't know Litiam will break my Litiam, Under the Canopy of heartbreak,I no go love again." She replied me under the Canopy (py), Under the Canopy of Love is not main for poor guys,May heartbreak be your portion till you get Rich." I was in tears she brought out five handkerchiefs from her bag, threw to me and left. I followed her as she walked to the road to take a taxi.

Guys in the neighborhood were saying eyaaa, eyaaa, eyaaaa, e don do you too eh ,sorry o, women na woe men ,they don woe us tire. I left her and on my way back to the house a young man who watched closely what happened stopped me, Zedicus Piro AKA Words No Be Problem, a whole you na it woman humble with sadness so." I said brother they're only two groups of happy people in the world, those that are Single and Those that are Poor. Before one will say Buhari is back from London, i received a slap from behind, i turned, he gave me another one , i shouted what's is ,he replied "i am a very poor man,i slapped my poverty and that of my ancestors into, You are now Single and Poor that's so make you the happiest man on earth." Hahahahahahahahaha