ZEDICUS PIRO AND WATERMELON

As a human being , i have a philosophy that it is Social Malnourishment any day am unable to make a friend. I have sustain this theory and even people close to me borrowed the philosophy and together life have been balanced.

I went out two days ago looking good in my Obudu made Gucci supported by my abba made shoes that got many viewers like a television showing El Classico Football match. That day outing was totally unusual for me and my theory, i almost could not sustain the theory but a pretty looking girl soon walked pass where we sat. I was aroused by her beauty and dash out like uncontrolled water. 

Zedicus Piro: hi watermelon
Girl: mcttheewww( sigh heavily)
Zedicus Piro: don't sigh, you are not a snake ,
Girl: what do you want ?
Zedicus Piro: Thank you for the opportunity,am here to water your destiny.
Girl: my destiny is over wet.
Zedicus Piro: No,its dry,take lenses and view it properly.
Girl: How do you know that?
Zedicus Piro: i do because you are a melon,am a water,you are incomplete without me but together we are watermelon and will bring out more watermelons.
Girl: You don't even know me nor my name .
Zedicus Piro: I know you,you are my Facebook friend, i do like your post every day, i also follow you on Instagram and Twitter.
Girl : You're funny and bold
Zedicus Piro: is that a yes?
Girl: Yes, i will be your melon, water me.
Zedicus Piro: This calls for celebration let's seat out.

We left to the best romantic bar name me&you appreciating myself within as we drive along. My car soon broke down ,watermelon asked what is wrong? "I said don't worry watermelon, this is how my car behaves each time it carries a beautiful girl." I fixed it and we arrived the bar. The sale girl speed of attending to us reminded me the bar name. "Goodness evaning lovingly corps, what should i brought for you". The sale girl spoke in typically Akwa ibomite intonation. My watermelon ordered for 1960, i wasn't shocked but my hope of resources sharing was impressed and increased. I asked for yoghurt but my watermelon persuaded me in a romantic way to try 1960, that's good for the health.

I foolishly agreed of course a man in love is a fool. The sale girl who looked smarter than her English Language brought the 1960 drink, we bought took a sip. My watermelon asked again, "you don't bother about knowing my name ?". I said forget it ,you're my watermelon that's your name of important to me. We continued the sipping and soon heard a loud goal from people seated around, i turned to the television and saw Ronaldo jubilating . The sales girl dashed in closer to where we sat "Zerecus Oriro , Ronaldo is a very good player,he scoring three goals in one matches." I was shocked by her murdered English language and my name. I told her my name is Zedicus Piro and not Zerecus Oriro and how do you even know my name? she laugh like a mumu she obviously was and replied "who no know you."

I returned my attention back to my found watermelon and took a sip of the 1960 drink before i could say Words No Be Problem she asked me ""hi Zedicus Piro do you know that each time you take 1960,it brings back memory of Nigeria independent?". I said watermelon you are drunk,stop drinking, Nigeria history alone is okay to drunk someone but my hope was telling me let her continue. I sipped another quantity went and ease myself then got back. Behold her face changed ,i said watermelon you look like Mary Slessor, she replied "you look like Nnandi Azikiwi." I said interesting let's go home so i can teach you some practicals of independent while you teach me how to safe twins.

We arrived my home,I  thought for some seconds how easy it is to get a woman in this 21th Century as long as you have a Car or Some beautiful words. She noticed my few seconds absent,of course thinking goes with one's attention. I covered up professionally and entered inside my fine design bachelor room. She looked at me with deep shock and stretch her hand to shake me. I reluctantly shook her and she said i hail thee Minister Words No Be Problem of Bedmatic affairs . I was confused but she brought me to light saying "You have a car but you don't have common chair in your house, so that girls will fall straight to the bed when they come,Minister of Bedmatic affairs, i hail thee once more."

Just before we began sharing of resources, NEPA restored power at the right moment for the first time in history. The resource sharing got to a climax and there was enough enough sound track. My Watermelon began speaking in tongues ;
Watermelon: Azikiwi you are killing me, Zedicus Piro: Mary Slessor i can't kill you the second time.
Watermelon: Azikiwi you are indeed a powerful man.
Zedicus Piro: Mary Slessor you are feeling me?
Watermelon: I feel your independent.
Zedicus Piro: I feel your domain of Twins Safety.
Watermelon: Azikiwi have you not come,?
Zedicus Piro: Mary Slessor i am coming.
Watermelon: Azikiwi you shouldn't have taken that 1960 o,
Zedicus Piro: Mary Slessor you shouldn't have persuaded me to take it o.
Watermelon: Azikiwi you're killing me,
Zedicus Piro: Mary Slessor Safe Yourself,

Watermelon: ewaa eyaou eyou ahzi tassa tassi oosokoto iskaba iskaba,

Zedicus Piro: what do you mean?
Watermelon: Nothing ooo, Na so i there talk if something there over sweet me. Oh da Customer you are too much.

Before i could asked Customer of what,i heard a female voice from outside "do her well well ,Na so." I was just weak and speechless but my watermelon replied the person "You are wicked". Watermelon gingered me to continue ,i said "but it's paining you Na", she replied "yes,its a pleasurable pain,if all pain are like this then there's no pain."  I continued and Before i could say Words No Be Problem i brutally lando and she told me Happy Independent Zedicus Piro, i replied Thank You for Safeguard the Independent day, dearest Watermelon.

The resources sharing was over and we fell into a deep sleep of course Sex brings sleep afterward. As early as 4:30am watermelon woke up,I asked her "are you a retired army officer?", She said no,i just want to go,I am use to waking and going early. As a gentle man i woke up,washed my resources and dropped her off. I got to her residence at about pass 5:am. Just as she was about stepping out of the car, someone came hailing her "HIV how far, you return late today." She replied "am fine Viruses,i there come, gist plenty for you o."

I sat down confidently and refused to be intimidated, no a girl cannot girl a guy. Another girl passed again and greeted her "HIV, how market ,as for me last night was a bad market o,this man wae i meet no gimme even one naira." I couldn't hold it again, i said "watermelon what is going on, first you called me a customer,secondly you said am use to waking early, are you a prostitute?" She replied "do you now care to know,?Well my name is HIV and i have watered you like you said,keep following and knowing me on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter." She walked out of me. I drove like i was leaving but repack and follow her carefully behind. I pipped through the window and saw beatings her chest and telling others "Babes na me be HIV, i have finish that guy waist last night, mehn shift lemme sleep."

I left the place so worried thinking of the need to go and do my HIV test, behold when i got home the money in my wallet has disappeared,the one hundred thousand my best friend gave me with trust to keep for her also was stolen. I quickly ran back to the girl house but i was told no one as such leaves there. I left there shamefully thinking a whole me, as smart and mental efficient i am being girl by a girl. When i fell to the bed, i saw a note "SELF CONTROL IS A GREAT SAVING, yours one night painful memory HIV(Humanity Is Vacant)." I echoed out indeed Humanity is Vacant in You, you're worse than a wstermelon. 

LESSON: In the name of making friends daily to sustain the fact that am a socially fit man ,many in the society of today are passing through poverty or any form of distress because friendship has been misunderstood. The type friendship many know now is just sex centered. Girls are beautiful and sexual urge is real but they are all mindset and the mind can be set far from it. If you lack the self-control for these, your name is lose control and whoever lose control is a dead man. Self Control is best achieved by taking your mind off things and be engaged in your focus.
You don't know anyone until you Know them. Friendship is Friendship and not Sexship.

MY NAME IS ZEDICUS PIRO AND YOU KNOW SAY WORDS NO BE PROBLEM