AN INVITATION TO SHOWCASE WORDS NO BE PROBLEM

Hahahahaha ,everyone at home laughed as i returned the sachet of yoghurt i kept aside for over seven days(if you use the word stolen i will castrate you)only to realized it was water that was inside and well closed but my love for yoghurt won't let me see it was empty like politicians promises. I returned the sachet of yoghurt ,No, pack of yoghurt containing water to the fridge with my disappointed countenance,the laughter from my siblings tells me it was well set up.

I left quietly to my room walking like a girl abandoned by the husband to be on the day of wedding. A little child ran to me, Uncle Zedicus Piro why are you walking like IBU in Nigeria movie. Before i could behave like IBU to the little child he ran like Aki&Pawpaw away.

I got inside my room,of course rooms are comfort zone for disappointed especially when it has to do with what you love like my yoghurt. My phone rang as i lay thinking of how to pay my siblings back, i was reluctant to take the call but finally did;
Zedicus Piro: Hello
Caller: Am i speaking with Words No Be Problem?
Zedicus Piro: Please call in Capital tense,
Caller: How do you know,am not writing,
Zedicus Piro: From your pronunciation i know,
Caller: You're indeed Words No Be Problem,.
Zedicus Piro: Better,it sounds better now.
What's up?
Caller: Am inviting you to showcase your Words No Be Problem enterprise tomorrow morning in the address i will text to you on the topic "HOW DO MEN WITH DIFFERENT PROFESSION INTRODUCE THEIR GIRLFRIENDS"
Zedicus Piro: Oga do you want Words To Become a Problem not even girlfriend but girlfriends.
Caller: Yes,No, No to Words becoming a problem but Yes to "girlfriends". Just to tell us how men that have two girlfriends will introduce them to each other.

The call ended and his last words "...just.." got me thinking how easy he thinks it is but a second thought came that it just a trust for me. I ran through some thoughts and got ready for the invitation. The following morning, i dressed on my finely starched shirt and jeans thanks to Aba market. My mum asked "Zedicus Piro my loving son where are you going?" I kept quiet it was my sibling that responded "he is going to drink yoghurt."

I took a taxi going to the venue, Police stopped the vehicle and asked us to step out. I did as a law abiding citizen. The police searched the vehicle thoroughly that got me thinking if it belongs to Osama Bin Laden. They found nothing unlawful and began searching me behold they saw a condom in my wallet.
Police Officer: What are you doing with a condom?
Zedicus Piro: For protection,
Police Officer: Why should you be walking about with it?
Zedicus Piro: its legalize officer.
Police Officer: Give it to me,
Zedicus Piro: Oga take Na
Police Officer: You are under arrest
Zedicus Piro: For what (angrily)
Police Officer: You are walking about with expired condom, it is an offense under section 4,sub section 2 ,paragraph 3,line 1 of the Nigeria constitution.
Zedicus Piro: Officer under Section fifty,sub section Naira, paragraph no kobo ,line take it coded else i charge you for quoting expired and fake Nigeria Constitution.
Police Officer: you mean what i said is fake? Ah thank you my brother,gimme the real one you just quoted please.

I left the checked point and arrived at the occasion,i was some minutes late but they all understood we are Africans. The Mc introduced me, "give it up for Zedicus Piro A K A Words No Be Problem". I cat walked to the stage, ladies and gentle men, my flight developed some fault but finally am here to vibrate on your topic How do Men with Different Profession introduced their girlfriends."
The began laughing,i said okay lemme go and sit down since you already know what i will say. They yelled "no oooooo, give some words, Zedicus Piro gimme some words."

I started, this is how Musicians will introduce their girlfriends, Hi dear meet my dancer, dancer meet my back up artist, both girls will smile like mumu listening to his favourite lyrics.
Lawyers will say meet my client, client meet my counsel, the both girls will be quiet else whatever there say will be use against them in the court of love.
Army will say Kai you,meet her,her meet you,the both girls will comport.
Pastor will say Sister Janet meet sister Gladys and they both girls will say praise God the pastor will answer Alleluia.
Business men will say Nne meet my business associate, business associate meet Nne the importer,exporter of our time, The both girls will say customer adikwam always right.
Teachers will say meet my project students, project student meet your colleague. The both girls will say analysis of this research is adikwam hard.
Politicians will say meet my campaign manager, campaign manger meet youth wing leader, the both girls will say winning is sure.
The worse is wheelbarrow pushers and Agbero in the parks,of course its a profession to them, they will say Itorobong Na Ekaete be this,i no want hear noise,una don hear, the both girls will reply your Father & Mama.
The only sincere people are very Rich Men, They will say sweet heart meet the second slay sweetheart in my life,the both girls will say you're so romantic, thanks for your sincerity,we are sincerely yours faithfully provided your heart & money (calling it on a low tone) remain constant.