CONFUSION IN CALABAR LAW COURT AS SUSPECT FART THE AIR REPEATEDLY

A court sitting in Calabar was thrown into confusion following the life taking fart by the suspect standing trial. The fart as honestly described by lawyers and magistrate in attendance is the worst of it kind in this millennium.

The suspect who narrated his arrest and trial in court story to news men said "i left my house on this faithful day being Monday this week as a patriotic Nigerian to enquire about an issue bothering the minds of many Nigerians. I was warned by relatives and friends not to embark on the mission because the new magistrate Unimna Agba was a no nonsense man but it felt on deaf ears because my mind was made up. I even bragged to them i have a tougher dad hence i can deal with everyone".

"When i got to my destination which is the law court the magistrate had just finished the court session and was about entering his car when i boldly excused him and nailed my aim, 'hello sir am here to find out what the money given to the court as bail is used for'? He paused and replied me 'young man ,i admire your boldness, am a pragmatic man, my aid here will take you to where you would surely find your answers'."

"That was how i was technically arrested o for just a simple question. I spend two days in custody, efforts by my family to bail me was abortive as the magistrate ordered i should remain in jail. On the third day i was arraigned in court to face some count charges which i don't want to know. it was unbelievable as i stood on the suspect stand while the council they provided for me argue on my harmless intentions".

"I was filled with great fear and heat when the no nonsense magistrate Unimna was about passing the verdict. My stomach was upset, i felt a movement of the beans i ate from home the day i was arrested, a silent air came out through my anus, another one followed again, the entire court room was circulated with my beautiful waste product. Magistrate Unimna 'shouted who did that'?".

"I developed more fear again and released another one but it was so loud, my lawyer shouted 'oh i have lose the case'. One of the suspect standing trial too exclaimed in his stammering nature 'you......beeee, youuuu beeee , beeee pro-pro-profe-profe-profe', the other suspect interrupted him and said professional. The stammerer suspect said 'thank you crimi'.
Magistrate Unimna with his hands firmly around the nose shouted case dismissed and acquitted. the court clerk shouted court rise and run for your dearest lives. Everyone ran out holding their gowns and caps."

"I walked closer to my lawyer outside to thank and tell him it's not my fault but because i wasn't allowed to use the toilet but he ran away saying 'go i have no business with you again'. As i was about leaving to my house a police corporal brought a notice to me, before i could open it he accompanied it with a heavy fart. I shouted officer you no there go toilet? He left quietly as if he was under arrest. I then opened the note behold it was from magistrate Unimna and it reads;

'Money given to the court is use for freedom and to scare people from crimes but fart given to the court is use to scare the court from collecting such money. Please Mr Zedicus Piro don't come to the court again.'
                                       From
                                          Yours i no die
                                          From fart
                                        Mag. Unimna Agba

When the suspect whom you already know finished narrating the story one of the journalist asked "Zedicus Piro am happy you are out now but please have you gone to the toilet"? The practical answer he gave got all of them running like a bomb thrown in Iraq and shouting on top of their voices "Zedicus Piro !!! Words No Be Problem your anus be like mama wae born twins".

MY NAME IS ZEDICUS PIRO AND YOU KNOW SAY WORDS NO BE PROBLEM