BREAKING: CHELSEA SIGNS BUHARI AS PEN MANAGER

Chelsea Football club have announced the signing of Buhari in the January transfer window for an undisclosed fee suspected to be mouth drying.

The announcement caused a public controversy as it was poorly misunderstood while others wondered what Buhari can contribute to the success of Chelsea set objectives but the club released a clarifying statement.

The statement has it Buhari is only signed to take care of the Pen in Stamford Bridge after consideration of his Animalistic Colony & Fulani's origin expertise. Chelsea urge all to cooperate with the Change Ambassador in the carrying out of his nomadic duties.

It was gathered that, Buhari beat other high profile Pen rearers like Mohammed, Adamu, Shittu and other numerous ''Aboki'' to secure the job.

Buhari has immediately resumed his managerial role in the Pen farm but was faced with open rebukes from the Animals who gossip the thin appearance of their new manager and wondered what they will look like in the near future.

The animals called for a replacement through their known sounds as they're looking for who to feed them and not who should be fed. Buhari who understands well the communication pattern of the animals was angry and shouted ''Una the mad,you nama f**ken Crazy?, eh,you Nama f**ken Crazy, if i hear any sign again,i will run all of you Fulani headsmen''.

The stubborn animals trained to understand the voice of man were angered by their new manager words and replied ''you can't hurt us,you're too old & weak''.

Buhari shouted again, ''una no want hear right, okay, Scorpion position. Aldullahi position, Adesina Mount, Mohammed position , Obiodun,in fact all the headsmen Position with your swords''. The animals started begging, ''please forgive us, we love our lives, we don't wanna be slaughtered''.

MY NAME IS ZEDICUS PIRO AND YOU KNOW SAY WORDS NO BE PROBLEM