AYADE APPOINT ZEDICUS PIRO PERSONAL ASSISTANT ON FACEBOOK AFFAIRS

Sequel to my public views on facts especially about Cross River State, the state Governor Prof. Ben Ayade unanimously appointed me his personal assistant on domestic cum Facebook affairs. I resumed my position immediately, the Governor said to be "you must always be available once am home and by my side even am sleeping,yes sleeping." I said Your Excellency pardon, he replied "you heard me well,I just love you." I said Governor my girlfriend and my wife to be go vex o. He got angry, choose between your girlfriend and the job am offering you. I stood at attention, there's no choice here sir, i disown my girlfriend in advance sorry arias.

The first night i slept beside the Governor, hello,I said the number one citizen of Cross River State it was memorable. At night,i heard mosquitoes sound wheeew wheeew wheeew, i shouted holy goes fire even here too mosquitoes there and hit the one on Ayade back. The Governor said hmmmmm, easy. After some minutes i heard mosquito again, these time they were allover his head,i hit them tawoaii, the governor said "kai Zedicus Piro wayo wayo." I increased the fan as preferable to AC and soon slept off. I received a PDP slap ,i jumped up from the bed with my eyes shining like a cat taking a walk at night. Governor said "there was a big mosquito on your face and i care for you too". I slept again and the mosquitoes came wheeeew, wheew,i began thinking whether my enemies of progression are satelliting me and got angry "what ,leave us alone." The mosquito responded "shut up,you opportune boy boy, we are fighting our independence, we just need small blood to have more energy." I said "oh i understand and pointed stylishly at the governor telling the mosquitoes to go that way." The mosquito replied "your father, him blood no sweet,Na your own we want, you may die tonight ."

I finally slept like a baby and as early as down there was a heavy knock "Kpom kpom kpom"..., on the door. I woke immediately from my deep sleep thanking God for the battle worn at night. The knocking continued and i went to open the door,behold it was the governor's wife. I said good morning ma'am, she said Zedicus Piro how are you? I said "praise thou lord ma'am." I stood patiently as it took the governor some time to rise because the previous day and night was hectic. The governor finally woke and his wife Dr Linda Ayade began shouting in the tone of a typical Nigerian Woman "when i say you should stop drinking excess you won't hear, by this time of the day on 1st October you are still sleeping, aren'ted you going to address Crossing Riverians., eh tell me, Aren'ted you". Ayade looked at her with his just woken countenance ,"this is how you will be disgracing me with wrong English."

Linda replied him, "am right, yes am very right,i speak very good English,am more intelligent than you self." Ayade replied shut up,am a professor,am talking to you as a professor, the correct English is "Aren'tod you going to address Crosser Riverians." I fell to the ground to faint, the mosquitoes that were perched on the rock because of over feeding whispered "please shift to another space." When i regained my familiarity with the English, the Governor Asked "Zedicus Piro why are you standing like a turkey experiencing harmattan?" I said your most excellencies this is how my body react if i hear strange English, there are metabolic processes on going but with Due Respect Prof & Dr permit to go out now.

I left the room and went back again, "excuse me Governor some high profile journalists are here to catch your morning view of the state of Nigeria at 57 years of independence." "Tell them i will be there,in fact wait for me,let's go." We got out,the journalists gathered with their recording instruments. One of them asked "Mr Governor what's your take of Nigeria at 57?" He responded "i have decided not to talk to you journalists again because each time i talk,am misquoted,one bit, two shy." One of them spoke immediately "oh Your Excellency did you mean once beaten, twice shy,?" Prof Ayade said "you see, see what am saying,they have started misquoting me. Your cases are very familiar, Zedicus Piro let's go." I said My able Governor don'tod mind them, he replied "stop speaking bad English in your life",I responded "same to you bro,lemme go and tell them on Facebook to shouldn'tod fail to vote for Ayade in 2019."