FIRST DAY IN SCHOOL

They are usually first time in everything which falls on a day and school is not left out. My first day in the University shortly after i got admission is still a memorabe laughter.

I entered the school dressed in my best material trouser partly fold from the ankle with my favorite rumpled white short sleeve and a substandard dark rubber eye glass on my face that gave me "I just left village appearance''.

I was greeting everyone as if am in my extended family compound. A girl walked to me asking for direction to the library, i foolishly pointed side west and she happily told me thanks but was rescued by a student who seemed familiar with the school premise as he redirected her downward.

The girl looked at me with so much disappointment and said "I don't usually abuse boys else i would have said you're an idiot". It went deep inside of me, of course i was an idiot.

I readjusted to look for Main Gate fondly described by Unical Students as a good area for pictures. I asked the next person that passed by of the location behold i was right in front of Main Gate. My ignorance brightened faces that day.

I took a picture with my "i just left Village attire" to post on Facebook but was interrupted by a group of students chanting "Great Malabites.....Great". I asked the photographer gently if we are safe or i should start running. He expatiated that in University of Calabar, "Malabite" is a nickname for Male Students while Female are "Malabraise".

I nodded my head in comprehension, continued my posting on Facebook and foolishly captioned the pic ''proud to be a Great Egbolabite'' and everyone commented expressing laughter and called me "great egbolabite".

On my way home after some registrations, i ran into the same girl i had given wrong direction to the library. We got along so easy though she was a bit civilized than me but i was richer than her that moment, thanks to my family.

She insisted we cool off somewhere, I said Mr Biggs(have i been there? No,just heard about it on radio). We stopped a taxi shouting Mr Biggs, the driver sighed heavily and left. It was the next one that was polite enough and asked us to look back, behold we stood right in Mr. Biggs. "Oh dah ignorance brings a crown of foolishness".

We entered in and spent a whooping amount of non your business. It was time to go home, of course "after the reggae comes blues". On my way home, i bought 10 bitter collars and was chewing like a starved goat. She asked my reason for chewing such bitter stuff, it was a rhetorical question but within i said when the hour comes, you will know.

We got home and began sharing resources, the girl echoed "yea yea" like a civilized girl she claimed but after five hours she began screaming "Egbolamite! Egbolamite !! , Egbolamite you are killing me", I replied "Egbolabraise don't die". She spoke again "Egbolamite you're really great", I answered "Egbolabraise thank you".

She asked "Egbolamite have you come?", I quickly answered with my village sense "from where"? She said "i mean have you released?". I said "No o i have never released in my life", she shouted "i don die". Immediately she finished exclaiming i came with my voice aloud and teeth displayed like a rabbit that fell on a trap. My neighbor shouted from outside Great Egbolamite...., the girl replied "eyen eka (brethren) e no easy".

MY NAME IS ZEDICUS PIRO AND YOU KNOW SAY WORDS NO BE PROBLEM